Of High Fevers, High Pressure, and High Performance October 31, 2008
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So the last couple of days have been filled with high fevers, preventing me from concentrating. I bombed a grace (but it was curved up by the grace of God), sent out a dumb e-mail (not re-reading it thinking about what I was saying), and been generally unproductive each day. So, that’s been my life. Of course, this is right in the midst of needing to finish applications, preaching at Grace North Shore next week, and trying to work on my big/major/time-consuming paper for my ThM project. All that being said, I wonder if there is a connection between my high fever and my high pressure on myself. Is this physical, mentally induced, or is it a spiritiual attack. I am not one of those “the devil is in everything,” but what is he in? Obviously, he is not sovereign and able to cause sickness (though it is amazing what God lets him do in Job, if that truly is Satan there….Hebrew question….side note). Or does he work on the other side, in kicking me while I am down. That is, while I wallow in physical misery and wonder if this is because I am working too hard at school and shouldn’t pursue PhD work, but is that simply a temptation in the midst of struggle? Oh, the joys (and the pains) of living life as a Christian!
Bittersweet October 28, 2008
Posted by bdennert in Ministry, Spirituality.1 comment so far
This past Sunday was our last class for the Sunday School class I taught using Tim Keller’s Reason for God. While I have been looking forward to having a few weeks off of teaching each week (especially in light of my school load), it was a bittersweet ending. We had a lot of good feedback, but I feel like the last class sessions was the one that we had the best discussion, as we tried a different format (shout out to Bill for helping me!). Why does it seem like I always get into the “groove” and then reexamine things right when I am done with something? I want to be the best that I can be (which is dangerous, I know), but it never seems like I can be the best….I am never as good as I want to be. I guess that is the life of the perfectionist.
Something had to give?!?! October 23, 2008
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My long day at school yesterday (as in arrive around 6:40 and depart around 9:30…oh, I and I mean AM and PM on those times) was a good one, a thought provoking one. I had three good conversations with people I have known from my time before, from 2 former students and a former floor-mate (who I entered school with). It was interesting hearing what is going on in there hearts. And then I had a class with the man, the myth, the legend, the Yarbrough, who I had interacted with but never had a full class with. His class was challenging for me, as he is unashamed of his theology, but also a great (and funny guy) who reminded me that my coursework should not be academic but spiritual. What a great reminder as I read the texts.
But an even more challenging conversation was with one of my former students (who is much older than me). We talked about life and how to “balance” ministry, school, and family. As he said, something is going to suffer. Actually, all are going to suffer, but to what extent. What is going to take the biggest hit? Is it less ministry for a time (as I have seen done). Is it grades that are not as good? I shouldn’t be family (though they will feel it). I realized that is something that I need to consider (before I sacrificed social life…but that isn’t quite the option now). Maybe my grades won’t be quite as good as I want. The pressure sets in, though, in that I need good grades to get to the next level (if I want to make it). So what does that mean….I don’t know, but it is something that I need to consider. In the process, I realized how works performance I can/have been. Something needs to change…my heart.
Falling Short…. October 19, 2008
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I know I shouldn’t compare myself, that is one of the major problems I have, but I still feel inadequate for the task that I would like to have. That is, I read about all sorts of pastors and theologians that do their ministry but also seem to be reading constantly and writing incessantly. For example, I read about John Owen last night and he was writing immense volumes of theology while pastoring. I have trouble reading a few books and comprehending them while I am in ministry and/or school. I feel like I am not able to perform the task I want. Even keeping this blog up. I don’t know if it is because I waste my time (Owen didn’t have the internet, though a lot of pastors are doing what he was doing in the internet age) or because I am too perfectionist (it takes me too long to do a paper) or because I get too consumed with whatever it is that I am doing. Regardless, I guess I need to jump start my energy and get more productive for the kingdom…not because I have to but because I want to.
Knowledge the Holy (Chapter 23) October 17, 2008
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Pardon my slacking, but we finished Knowledge of the Holy this week and I am finally posting on it. The last chapter is called, “The Open Secret.” In this chapter, Tozer talks about how the knowledge of the holy God has been opened to us through His revelation. This is what have explored in the book, but it is a short book 
We discussed some of the things that stood out to us: looking at his love and grace in new ways (how it is tied to our sin), seeing how all the attributes fit together, reminders of his sovereignty, but also our choices, seeing Him as a person, not just a concept.
The journey continues, and for us, it journeys without the same sort of explicit reflection on the character and attributes of God, so we need to figure out how we can continue to grow in the knowledge of God after this book. Tozer mentions six things to do to continue on this journey: 1) Forsake sin, 2) Commit our lives to Christ, 3) Reckon that we are dead to sin and alive to Christ, 4) Say no to the cheap values of the world, 5) have loving and long meditation on God and His majesty, and 6) Serve others…which restarts these too, as it usually causes us to see our sin.
We sang some songs about the person and character of God (the Love of God, Indescribable) and songs that looked at this character and called for response (The Deep, Deep Love of Jesus; Take My Life). We prayed for each other, as we are in this journey to know God together, remembering that God is for us in this too (Phil 2:12-13) and that we are being conformed to his image (Romans 8:28-30…but keep on reading cause it is awesome too)!
Next up for our small group: Selections from the Psalms
Knowledge Of Holy (Chapters 21 and 22) October 10, 2008
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Almost done with Knowledge of the Holy! This week, the two sections were on the holiness and sovereignty of God. We looked at Isaiah 6 and saw that the holiness of God causes us to see the sin in our world and, first and foremost, in our lives. We only experience this holiness when we see God’s self-revelation of Himself; it is a new way of looking that is not natural. This holiness is different from simply having awe because it points to our unworthiness and the need to eliminate sin. We are called to be holy because God is holy (1 Peter 1:16; Lev 11:44, 45; 19:2). However, this is not to be holy as God is holy, as that is impossible. But we must seek holiness, eliminating sin and aligning ourselves with God’s purposes. This means we will try to be holy in an unholy world, which will be tough. We also have to be holy without being “holier than thou.” It comes in our attitude. This idea of seeking holiness is important as we move to the sovereignty of God. The sovereignty gives us great confidence, as we see a God who cares for us and interacts with us. One of the “problems” with sovereignty is that it seems to eliminate our choice…but Tozer presented an analogy of a boat; its destination is fixed but how you live while you get there is up to you. This analogy breaks down, but we must remember that His sovereignty and our choices go together. That is, we make real choices (just like a rock is hard or water is wet, so we make choices by our design). Therefore, our choices should seek the holiness and goodnes of God. It gives us confidence, but gives us a choice. Will we choose to be holy?
Knowledge of the Holy (Chapters 19 and 20) October 5, 2008
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This week we looked at the Grace and Love of God. The group as a whole seemed to agree with the statement, “While two of the most popular attributes of God, these are also two of the most misunderstood and abused attributes of God.” People love grace and they love love, but they sometimes worship them instead of the God of grace and love. So, how do we get a true view of these two.
Grace is connected but a little different than mercy, as all attributes are one but we break them down to help us understand them. Grace is God’s act upon us who do not have merit; mercy moves God to act, grace is how He acts and responds to our need. While it is ultimately seen in Christ, that is just the big act of grace, as the whole Bible is God acting in grace. Grace excludes works because it excludes merit (Romans 11:6; Ephesians 2:4-9). And we see that grace is infinite. Therefore, when we see commands to grow in grace (2 Peter 3:18) and be strong in grace (2 Timothy 2:1), we realize that this is our own understanding of God’s infinite grace. It means that we are seeing our sin more, but we see grace even more.
Moving to love, we see that God’s grace is an act of love (Romans 5:8). But what is love? We looked to 1 John 4:7-21 to see that love is something that acts on behalf of others. And when we see love acting for us, we then are able to cast out fear. When we truly experience the love of God, we do not have anything to fear. But we have all sorts of fears! A way to see our growth in love is our growth in the areas of fear. When we think of love as the sacrifice for the good of others, we see what it means to love others (John 13:35) and love God (Matthew 22:37-38). The sacrifice does not bring merit but shows the love.
Double Occupancy Mind October 1, 2008
Posted by bdennert in Spirituality, Theology and Ministry.1 comment so far
I was listening to a sermon from Briarwood Church by Harry Reader this morning on my way to school and he offered this metaphor–we need to have double occupancy minds as opposed to single occupancy minds when it comes to theology. That is the only way that we can comprehend Christ as fully God and fully man as well as the Trinity. I thought that was an interesting metaphor, if nothing else it seemed original to me at the time
